Through Their Eyes: PTSD Has No Gender Preference – A Tale from a Female SWAT Officer

Robyn Dunlap* is a proud Veteran of the US Air Force. Having served for 12 years, she represented her country during war efforts following the attacks on September 11, 2001.

Upon retirement, much like many of her peers, Robyn found the life of Law Enforcement calling her. She felt the transition from her military life would be a seamless one – the  camaraderie, the challenges and the ability to hone her energy into something productive and quick paced.

“When I joined the department, after having spent my time in the Air Force, I assumed it would be like riding a bike. I understood situational awareness, bad guys and everything it took to be on guard when things got dicey. I was even a top shot in my class, when it came to quals! But I was bored – I needed more.”

When Robyn learned of an opening in the departments elite SWAT team, she knew the position was hers for the taking. Training in the gym, on the range and studying until she couldn’t keep her eyes open, Robyn was dedicated to making the team – as their first Female SWAT officer.

Outperforming her peers, Robyn made the team and was accepted (with trepidation) into the elite unit. Traditionally a “Boys Club,” the hyper-masculine culture often present in SWAT teams can create an unwelcoming environment for women. “I was the one that was not like the others in my first few months. It took some warming up and proving myself to be accepted by everyone.”

Often utilized as the go-to when children were involved on high-intensity calls, Robyn found herself constantly faced with separating families, shielding young eyes from scenes they should never see, and having to explain why “mommy or daddy are being taken away.”

“I thought having seen evil overseas would have prepared me for anything back home – I had no idea the degree of new nightmares I would face once joining the team,” recalls Robyn.

“We were called to serve an arrest warrant to a bad guy we had become pretty familiar with. Nothing outside the realm of what we were used to – just, knew this guy was going to put up a fight.”

When the unit arrived, the house was quiet. Positioned and ready to go, the team entered the home as they had dozens of times before, pandemonium erupted. “Our team lead chased the guy out the back door – where he was met with one of the guys waiting. After a little toe-to-toe in the backyard, he was cuffed and walking to the van.”

“I thought it was another standard arrest, until I heard the small cries from the other room. Immediately on alert, I made my way down the hall to a small corner bedroom – if you could call it that. The door had a deadbolt on the outside, but someone was behind it. This is where my nightmare began.”

Once opened, Robyn stood in the doorway of that bedroom staring at the face of a little boy, no more than seven-years-old. Covered in dirt, sweat and his own fecal matter, Robyn questioned how this skeleton of a child could be alive – let alone standing before her.

“How could someone do this to such an innocent soul? He was afraid of everyone – the way a beat puppy hides at the hand of the one trying to pet him.”

Plagued by anger, hatred, and disbelief, Robyn finished the shift and went home. In an effort to remove the vision of that child’s face, she poured a drink…a drink large enough to ensure she would pass out and not dream.

“It worked – I don’t remember a single dream from that night. That was the first drink in a long list of drinks – each one the same remedy to nightmares. If I drank them away before the visions even started, I was ahead of the problem.”

Robyn’s approach to numbing the nightmares quickly turned into a full-blown habit. One bottle a night, turned into two, and before she knew it, she was falling asleep with the drink still in hand. “It wasn’t a problem if I could still get up and do my job – or so I thought.”

Fortunately for Robyn, her situation wasn’t an unfamiliar one to her teammates. Consistently pushing her PT, to stay on top of her physical shape, Robyn started to fall behind. A regular on the jiu-jitsu mats, her ability to keep up wavered and she found herself exhausted and discouraged. Chalking it up to long hours at work, she found every excuse to change the subject away from her shift in energy and character.

“One night after a really tough roll, one of my closest teammates and friends pulled me aside. It was one of the most humiliating moments of my life – he told he the smell of alcohol was so strong on my breath, he wanted to tap just to get away from me.”

“I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was suffering from PTSd from that call so many months before. I didn’t think that was something that could happen to me. I served a full career in the military – and I didn’t have a single issue!”

Throughout the country, firehouses, hospitals and police stations are riddled with first responders suffering with PTSd.  For many, the use of alcohol is a normal reaction to an abnormal circumstance; but for first responders who work in a hero culture, broken bones and scars are considered battle wounds, while mental injuries are a sign of weakness. These expectations are part of the lethal equation that drive first responders, suffering with PTSd and SUD to their darkest times.

“It’s one thing to be a Veteran and a SWAT officer, having to admit that you have a problem – but add the fact that I’m a female to the equation – and I was just opening myself up to ridicule! I didn’t want to face the barrage of “weak female,” comments I knew would come my way if it got out that I was having a problem.”

As of late 2024 and early 2025, women make up only about 12-14% of sworn police officers nationwide. The representation is even lower in SWAT units, with one source indicating that only 0.47% of SWAT teams are female.

“First responders deal with the most catastrophic scenes — that’s their job, it’s what we’ve asked them to do,” stated Lisa Lannon, Co-Founder of Warriors Heart- a private treatment facility providing care for addiction, chemical dependency and PTSD for active military, veterans, law enforcement and first responders. “We expect a level of super-human when we see a hero in uniform – inside though, they’re mortal. They are continually faced with varying degrees of trauma, while being expected to ‘suck it up,’ or ‘push it down’ and carry on. The pressure of being a female in this fast-paced environment is a double-edged sword – you’re constantly under the microscope while also expected to perform at the same level as your male counterparts. And the most aggressive critic, is yourself,” recalls Lannon, a former Law Enforcement officer.

The rigors of the job contribute to increased cases of substance abuse. Drugs used as a coping mechanism often include marijuana, benzodiazepines and methamphetamine, with the most popular drugs of abuse being alcohol and opioids.

Warriors Heart recognizes and understands the unique demands of first responders and works to successfully navigate healing and recovery while in the company of people who personally understand individual experiences.

“Police officers are often unwilling to seek help, fearing it will jeopardize their jobs or make them look weak. Or even deeper, many of the treatment programs or groups put them in the company of others who they may have dealt with in the past; putting them in an unsafe environment. There needs to be a cultural shift to provide these warriors with the support they deserve, without the fear of appearing weak, it allows them to come back to their jobs and relationships stronger” states Lannon.

Robyn credits her acceptance and education of PTS and her drinking to professional help from doctors, and support from her superiors and peers. “It’s with thanks to my support network, that I have learned that you can’t cure PTS, but you can learn how to plan for and work through the triggers in a healthy way.”

“I’m now able to serve at the best capacity as I am able. Recently during a narcotics warrant, the family of the suspect had to sit back, and watch their loved one be detained. I stepped aside and took a moment to comfort the mother and daughter. In their darkest moment, I let them know everything would be okay – doing my best to help calm their nerves. As an operator, I have to stay human and show compassion when it’s needed – with a clear head, I am able to do that better now than I ever was before.”

It’s important for first responders to remember that it’s normal to have a mental and emotional response to tragedies, especially those transitioning from a life in the military to the front lines at home. Treatment is a viable option for first responders experiencing addiction and PTS. Treatment centers across the country, like Warriors Heart, offer comprehensive services catering to the specific needs of law enforcement professionals; providing various levels of care, including inpatient and outpatient treatment and support groups.

At Warriors Heart, heroes in every walk of life are welcome, offering a variety of treatment for those undergoing the damaging effects of PTS as well as chemical dependency. For those who have fought battles to defend our country and our citizens, fighting the battle against addiction and depression doesn’t need to be done alone.

Call us now or contact us online to take the first step toward recovery.

 

If you or a warrior need help with addiction, PTS or co-occurring issues, please contact Warriors Heart’s 24-hour hotline (888-440-7107) answered by warriors and/or visit https://www.warriorsheart.com.

Call 24/7 @ 1 844-958-1183 or visit the link below.
https://www.warriorsheart.com/contact-us/